I bought myself a little mid-evil torture device which was delivered yesterday. I was extremely excited about it; until I saw the couple of hundred micro needles on the derma roller. I showed it to my husband, and of course his response what that I am completely out of my mind. Why would I want to willingly puncture my face with needles, all in the name of ‘beauty’? Is it because I want healthier skin? Or because some days I don’t recognise the 37 year old staring back at me in the mirror? I feel 25 dammit. Or is it purely vanity?
Am I going to use the derma roller? Yes! If I was offered botox, would I try it? Hell yes! Why though? Because I think smoother, less wrinkly skin would make me feel more confident. Is it about self-esteem, or egotism? Fine line.
Even as I am typing this, I am not quite sure of the direction of this post. I surely don’t want to spark a debate. Enough drama on Twitter of late and there’s enough shaming and impossible beauty standards out there. What I do want, is your opinion. Your idea of beauty.
How do you define beauty?
A recent Dove campaign asked mothers about their beauty legacy- the way that moms feel about their own beauty has a great influence on how the girls in their lives will feel about themselves. This is something that I am very aware of as I am my own biggest hater. I don’t want my little girl to see the tears in my eyes when I look at my fat ass in the mirror just before we go to the beach. All she should remember is that her mom put on that pair of shorts and built sandcastles with her. This post isn’t really about the Dove campaign, but it is one of the things that got me thinking about the idea beauty.
What does the word beauty mean to you?
I want it to mean a healthy body and body image and embracing the physical that makes me, me. Not that easy though. If it was, then I wouldn’t stare at each individual wrinkle whilst doing my make-up in the morning wishing it wasn’t there. Perhaps then I would see that wrinkle as a sign of life. And perhaps a bit of wisdom. Maybe then I wouldn’t constantly try to hide my ugly, wrinkly hands from people. You see, I hate my hands. I always have. Recently I realised that they are my mom’s. There are pictures where you can hardly distinguish between the two of us. My mom’s hands are the loving hands that cared for me when I was sick, that held me when I was sad and clapped for me when I made her proud. I love those hands. Then why don’t I love my own? Just because they aren’t ‘pretty’? Again I ask, is it just plain vanity? I also want beauty to mean having a kind and giving heart. My hands care, love and protect, yet I still only see the unsightly, crapey skin.
What about those features that make you stand out? I have wild, curly hair that I finally made peace with and started to love when I was in my twenties. I get many compliments, but so many people still ask me why I don’t straighten my hair. My little girl has my hair. I love it. I will do my damn best to ensure that she loves those curls to. I love the fact that it makes her stand out a bit.
Why do we often feel like we want to/need to downplay the attributes that make us stand out?
I use an online site to add text to my images. One of the elements this site offers, is a ‘photoshop’ type feature and the ad to showcase how great it works, removes a woman’s freckles. Now this woman is gorgeous in her ‘before’ picture. Her freckles are beautiful. But then they go and take away one of the features that make her who she is. I think it totally robs her of her beauty.
Ramble over ;) Now I hand the mic over to you… tell me what you think. And be honest. Do you wear make-up because it’s fun (and it is!) or to hide? Do you work out because you love the endorphin rush and you want to be healthy, or do you sweat for hours just because you want to look better than the girl next to you on the beach? Do you perhaps want to lose weight? Is it for yourself or someone else? Do you think beauty only comes from the inside and screw what the rest think? Do you celebrate your uniqueness or do you hide it from the world?
What is your definition of beauty?
xoxo
Images: Sourced from Google
Beauty for me is being comfortable in your own skin, a warm smile, a confident demeanour and a lovely attitude towards life, no matter the circumstances.
Love from London.
Ashleigh | http://www.quintessentiallyme.co.uk xx
Thanks so much for stopping by Ashleigh!! xxx
I can wholeheartedly relate to not loving your hands.
I’ve had “ou-tannie-hande” since I can remember. My thoughts of ugly hands were already provoked at the tender age of 7. I remember a girl asking me whether I was okay, or if it hurt to have hands that look so old.
The amount of money I’ve spent to have “manicure-ad” hands are horrific. And the funny thing is, I don’t think anybody else will think the same way when I mention how I feel about my hands. I think it’s purely our own (deceived?) perspective and perception.
I agree that it’s your own perspective and perception, but it’s amazing the effect that one comment can have on the way you see yourself. Here’s to our gorgeous ‘ou-tannie-hande’ ;) xx
I struggle with this. My dad never allowed me to colour my hair – he said – God gave you that hair, it is pretty hair, be happy with it. So I learnt to be happy with it. Now I add a few highlights in here and there but for the most part I have accepted that me and my hair are one!
I also hardly ever wear make up. My mom wears make up every single day, even on Sundays when she works in the garden. So she never said no make up :-p To be honest it scares me, I am not sure how to use, what to use etc so I leave it unless there is a proper event then I do use it.
I have just lost about 6kg – I didn’t do it because I felt pressure or because I felt ugly – there are clothes I want to wear and I didn’t feel comfortable in them, now I do! It really was that simple.
My issue with this campaign is that it seems to focus on girls. What about the boys? Who is telling them to accept themselves the way they are? There is just as much pressure for them, actually I think maybe even more, to be fit, attractive, slim etc. That said I do totally support the campaign :)
LOL and not once did I even answer the question!
Thanks so much for sharing Laura! I completely agree.. there is just as much pressure on boys. We forget that fact! xx
Though provoking piece Charlene. I can relate to being your own biggest hater. At the age of 37 I dont have a beauty routine, dont have much make up, and I go natural 100% of the time. I have even stopped relaxing my hair. I havent tidied up my eyebrows in over a year maybe longer even. To me physical beauty is fleeting. My experience taught people will remember who you were long after they have forgetton what you used to look like. W
Thank you Rashieda!
I believe that beauty is being comfortable with who you are. You’ve got to find a style that you LOOK nice in and FEEL nice in!Also, beautiful is a woman who has a glow about her and has that “extra something. Hope that helped!?!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts x